hedonistic motions

freedom in unconventional faith

freedom in unconventional faith


photograph by Nia Garza

we set boundaries for ourselves, for good reason or fear, but what i built, that encroaching barrier between myself and the lot of you, has become permeable; as a veil that could be seen, hazing my grip on the outside. claws formed by entrapment–this is what I felt there, entrapped and kept to sculpture–and the lace became torn by the desire to expand and be boundless.

there is always an exception to the rule; a line that is just too flimsy or tempting to resist crossing. there exists the indisputable, the Ten Commandments of our temple, if you will–finally, i acknowledge it; that perception of shared reality, where accountability and pressure spills over into blind obedience–but i have been immovable, hardened, and abstractly rooted in some experience or another.

but this, this is not a motion of self-government, but rather a declaration of chaos: freedom can mean being free from oneself, where we step outside the confines and sway nude among the animals, even just for a moment.

satanists–if you know anything about them–in their recognition of the base desire, of how we have willed gods into existence as a reflection of our own egos, and the oversimplified idea that we are our own gods; take what you will. please note, knowledge of something does not make you a part of it. practice and stained hands, that is the pairing that brings us into the arena of identity. secretive, yet i’ve told you everything and you haven’t noticed, there are infinite meanings and slim chances for true objectivity.

i mentioned this would be unrestricted.

Author: belleathena

Novelist, artist, and speculated witch. Founder and Editor-In-Chief of OTHER. Magazine. Proudly born and raised in Massachusetts. Currently located in Orlando, Florida.

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