unapologetically happy

home and belonging

there are conversations in my head, always it seems, about home and belonging. I have come to the realization that I had ceased trying to find my home; I had become complacent with a halcyon that was not spiritually enriching. I aim to rectify that. because the longer I remain a misfit–constantly considering myself as Other–I won’t be unapologetically happy.

wasting paints | wip

translating a dream state

I BEGAN LAYERING PAINT, WITHOUT THINKING.
FLOWERS BLOOMED, AND I GUESS, THAT’S JUST ME, IN TRUTH, AN OPTIMIST WHO HAS FAITH IN THE SMALL PLEASURES OF THE WORLD. I THINK I’M TRANSLATING A DREAM STATE WHERE I’VE TRIED TO IMAGINE SUMMERLAND.

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NO PREDETERMINED PALETTE OR SUBJECT
JUST UNCONSCIOUS, WITH LACK OF ANY BRIGHT IDEAS OF WHAT MY STROKES AND LAYERS WOULD BE LEADING TO. AND ISN’T THAT JUST LIKE US?

apollo

this is how I imagine us

this is how I imagine you
sitting below deck beside a round window full with a wet blue sky of salt and fish
there’s a novel in your hand by someone who is not you;  light around you, but what’s inside is drowning from the doubt and Time

this is how I imagine me
a spirit in the woods weaving through old trees as ancient as my soul
there is a burrow where I hide my secrets, and a small meadow where I dance and write and sing; light above me, but my heart is forever clinging coolly to the shade

this is how I imagine us
we are near the forest and the sea, where light touches everything
there are grand windows, spools of thread, cascades of books, by us and by them
our walls are filled with what we find beautiful and harmful and true
there is a garden with old trees, butterflies, and a rocky shore
beyond is our escape, an unnamed boat that dips and turns at the dock, tied to its rope as
I am tied to your will


this is how I imagine us
a life where we have everything because we have each other
neither is left behind
feelings never overlooked
promises never left unfulfilled
a scale eternally balance
two souls forever curious and adventurous. 

 

 

Charlotte and the Wooden Castle

My novella, entitled “Charlotte and the Wooden Castle” is now available for purchase. Read a sample here.

Charlotte is a dreamer, always fantasizing about the world rather than exploring it. Seeking an opportunity to escape her stagnant life, she decides to study abroad in a charming village tucked away in north Oxfordshire. Soon after her arrival, she experiences an eclipse, where the dark and light parts of her past and unknown future overlap in the heart of Wroxton Abbey.

When I first stumbled upon the opportunity to study at Wroxton College, it was routine for students to apply for a scholarship to cover part of the cost. This seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to use my passion to earn something tangible, a summer abroad. I boarded my flight with no expectations, just want for knowledge and fun. What I found in England completely changed me, and as a result, I made decisions that have shaped the life I am living today. For a year I stayed immersed mentally in the story which inspired me to create Charlotte, and for a year I faced the consequences of the choices I made. I have picked apart the end result and finally freed it from my clutches. It is a quick read, and I hope that you enjoy it, talk about it, and that the story lingers in your heart as it has in mine.